What to Look for in a Midwife
Can you give Shaz some advice? She writes, “I’m having my first baby and am starting the search for a midwife. I’m wondering what kinds of things I should look for in a midwife — what questions to ask etc. Does anyone have some thoughts to share on what they wish they’d asked their midwife, or what is essential to know?
We put this question to our community on Facebook, and had the follow suggestions… We’d also like to say a big congratulations on your pregnancy news, and welcome to the Breastmates website – your resource for information and great maternity shopping. Just remember to be quick to find your midwife – they do book out quickly!!
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With my first, the first midwife I met greeted me at her door with ‘oh you look pregnant’ ‘how are your titties?’ I knew then and there she was not what I was looking for! My next midwife I met was like a mother figure and we both loved her straight away. When I was looking for second midwife I went with recommendation from a friend. Wanted someone open to anything required to get baby out safely as had complications with 1st resulting in c section.
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I would just get onto securing one ASAP as there is such a shortage in some areas. I heard from my midwife some women are struggling to find one at just 6 weeks pregnant! But other than that, make sure they aren’t judgey about using formula if that’s what you choose.
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How much her personality/values etc align with yours. You shouldn’t feel like you must push to have yourself heard, its your body your baby you have the right to informed choice. Also just because you’re a first time mum doesn’t necessary mean you’ll be in labour for an extremely long time, everybody births their baby different. My first midwife (a back up not my first choice) wasn’t prepared for my birth and stressed me and baby out, the midwife I have now has taken the time to read my medical history and talk to me about my options rather than belittle my birthing ability
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It’s so hard the first time around! You have no idea what you’re in for! I changed midwives the first time because she told me I was a first time mum and couldn’t go to the birthing unit because I’d probably need pain relief. I thought stuff you lady! Apart from that, and kind of feelings you get, you really don’t know how much you love your midwife until they’ve been there with you during birth!
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I would ask how many cases they take on per month, some midwives over commit themselves meaning that they might not be there for the birth, but others only take a handful that they know they can manage so can be at most of the births (provided it’s not their weekend off), so also ask who the back up midwife is.
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What are their beliefs around birth, are they happy to do a home birth, a birthing unit or a hospital. Does their preferences line up with yours? What is their opinion on pain relief should you want to use some. In my experience some midwifes do not support using an epidural and prefer not to birth at a hospital. How many clients do they take per month and who do they use a back up midwife should they be unavailable.
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Just someone you feel comfortable with. When I was pregnant with my son I met with all the local recommendations and despite their Stella reputations, I just didn’t feel comfortable. I ended up going to a community midwife that changed every week and they all made me feel so calm and relaxed. The midwife that was in my hospital room I met on the night I went into labour and honestly she was the best midwife I could of asked for. Everyone can give you advice etc but what it comes down to is who you feel confident in.
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Our biggest thing she would stay with us though the whole labour process including if I had to go to theatre as I know some midwives don’t. As I have severe endometriosis it was important for us that they work with specialist and the hospital team if required. I agree with the comments about one you feel comfortable with. Ours was also about first impressions. What vibe or feeling did you get from then when you first meet them? We had an incredible lucky and because of her my baby boy arrived safely!
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When I was pregnant the first time I was so sure that I would probably want the epidural and I wanted a midwife who would give me one when and if I asked. There were so many who straight away said they were against it and natural is best. So I found one that was happy to go along for the journey with me and what I wanted at the time of labour. Made me feel so calm and comfortable.
Both my kids were born with no drugs but I wanted the option to be easy and not a fight . Also made sure the other midwife she was working with in case she couldn’t come was the same and lovely.
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That they will be available and able to go to the birthing centre of your choice. How will they advocate for you if something goes wrong during birth, how busy they are, whether they would be happy with the amount of intervention you want eg scans, tests etc.
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Their birth plan options/opinions/views/beliefs etc.
How they plan to support you in pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
Their experience.
Take your time, reach out to other locals in your area. You may have a vision of your dream pregnancy/birth/postpartum period and find a midwife who aligns with them, but reality may be a whole new ball game so be open and mindful of this ❤️
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I’ve had 2 kids now, and something I would ask for in a midwife next time is one who knows how to do “spinning babies” as my labour was long and my midwife not very hands on. sort of left me to it but it wasn’t working. My baby struggled to engage and I was in labour much longer than I needed to be, and ended in a c-section. So next time I would want someone with spinning babies knowledge so they can help manipulate body positioning to help baby come down and eventually, out.
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For my first, about 14 weeks. For my second, 5 weeks 😂 I had polyhydramnios (excessive fluid) with both so the pooch shot straight out!
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Ask if they do home visits after baby is born. Sometimes they only do them for the first few and then want you to come to clinic. Others only want you in clinic for the last one (to make sure you’re coping to get out of the house)
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You might not know your ‘beliefs’ around birth yet being your first and early, (I’m due tomorrow and still not 100% what kind of birth I want..) so just make sure it’s someone who has an open mind to different options and you can work with and trust if plans change. Someone who will listen to you once you know what you want and who can help educate you around choices. Are they someone you’re comfortable calling up even about small questions? Are you comfortable going to them if you’re in pain?
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I was limited with who I could have as I wanted a hospital birth( and most round me just do maternity unit )for #1 and ended up having many after my first retired and passed me into another lady temporarily who didn’t do hospitals and then I finally got switched to a group of ladies round 37 weeks and they were lovely, second birth had to be at hospital (emergency c section for #1) so found a lady that did hospital births and she was lovely so I guess write a list of what’s most important to you, sometimes though its literally just who is available as they do book out pretty quickly
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I wondered the same thing but it was hard just to get one at all. As it was, I ended up with a team of them that rotated so it was a case of whoever was on that night got to deliver. Luckily they were all lovely ladies!
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Try and find one that aligns with your birthing philosophy I.e. are you aiming for an unmedicated birth or do you want all the pain relief?
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Their opinions on pain relief and breast feeding. Make sure these align with your own
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That you can and SHOULD change them if you just don’t gel
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Go with your gut. If they feel like an old friend/aunty then you’re on to a winner. Check your beliefs align (vaccination, pain relief etc) early because having a midwife steer you away from a particular method of pain management because they prefer other methods is very discouraging when you’re 30 weeks!
And remember that you can change midwives ANYTIME if you’re not happy or confident.
