Worst Things to Ask a Pregnant Women

Have you been asked stupid questions during your pregnancy?ย  Well you are definitely not alone!

We asked a simple question recently, and had an overwhelming response. ย The most annoying things were

  • have you had the baby yet
  • Are you sure its not twins
  • do you know what you’re having

Here are the comments that we received from about 125 mums and mums-to-be…

Are you hoping for a girl this time?

Are you sure its not twins?

Is that baby here yet??!!?!?!?!!?! I was 2 weeks over due! nd one week before my due date people started asking!!! Texting, calling, face-booking!!! It was horrible!

How far along are you? And in the summer… aren’t you hot? *YES OF COURSE I AM!!!*

Haven’t you put on weight!!!!???

Was this planned?

Wow your so young was it a surprise? NO DAM YOU IT WAS PLANNED!

Why don’t you find out the sex?

How much longer, what r u having

‘Oh you must be feeling the heat!’ repeatedly (ok, more a statement than a question)…. by several people concurrently (like sitting in the shade at play centre and having about 15 women ask almost one after the other!)

And ‘do you know what you’re having?’ followed by ‘why not?’ when I said no!

Are you full of arms and legs girl??
Are you pregnant?
Aren’t you tired?
How is the baby? (I don’t bloody know, I can’t see it!)
Are you excited?

When people found out it was number four… are you having anymore… or don’t you know how babies are made etc. I just hated the whole insinuation that we were being stupid

We didn’t want to know the sex of our baby and we were frequently asked, “Are you having a boy or a girl?” Response: yes

I agree with the twins questions that Belinda posted. No I wasn’t I was just having a big baby
“Is it mine?”
You’re pregnant? (A day after having my son!)
How did it happen…?! Are your serious, you don’t know how babies are made?! Oh no I mean weren’t you on the pill or anything?

Are you scared?
Are you still with the dad?
Why so young?

Yes! Yes and for god sakes it’s none of any ones business how old I am:

Oh and the most annoying thing – you go up to the counter with BLUE clothing and they go… Awe, do you know what you’re having?

“So you haven’t had the baby yet?” when your a week over due and huge

“Have you thought of any names yet??” Holey crap that used to annoy me!!!

How many are in there?

Are u having twins??!?!

I got sick of when are you finishing work? I am about to have a baby and I already have a son I work 24/7!

And I hated the ‘what are you having’? Imp having a baby. Why is it people think they even have the right to know what you are having surely if you did find out and you wanted them to know you would tell them? Stay in your own space people!

After finding out we were having daughter number 3 so many people said to me “oh you poor thing what a shame it’s not a boy”!!!!! I just wanted a healthy baby gez even now people ask if we are going to “try for a boy”

Same as Tammie “was it planned”. No idea why this is asked. Also the “are you sure your dates are right”. I only showed once I was well past 30 weeks and did not get much bigger. I was well packed ๐Ÿ™‚

A statement “well we all know what you have been up to” Or “you look like you are about to drop” whilst only 6 months!

I was young and kept getting asked, “oh so is there a dad” … and I just wanted to reply ” No haven’t you watched Dumbo the babies get delivered by stalk, … duh”, I hated the fact that because I was young it wasn’t something I had planned but it was all by older women who in their day it would have been very accepted to have babies in their early twenties!

Them ‘Can I touch your tummy?’ Me – ‘Can I touch yours?’

“Haven’t you had that baby yet?” Ummmm no, not yet. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow.

Whist nearly 2 weeks over due with my first “Oh! You STILL haven’t had that baby??”

Am part time student prego with #1: ‘So, do you think you’ll ever finish your degree?’ and ‘you’re so tiny…you’re going to be massive’ (it’s a statement but as irritating as a question!)

I think I got most annoyed about being asked about names, I hated telling anyone as you always got a funny reaction or their opinion… in the end I kept quiet

got asked if Dan was a boy or girl and he was in all blue!

“You’re not very big” Implying that my baby wasn’t big… She was just tucked up nicely and I wasn’t carrying heaps of extra fluid. People should just not comment! No matter what they say, it can be offensive.

How’s the baby! I don’t know, they are swimming in amniotic fluid so I assume great

All questions annoy me! I hate being pregnant – have a bad time of it… so everyone and everything is annoying!!

I loved the concerned people asking how I was going to do it on my own this time…well I was planning to push him out the same way as I did the others!!! And you know what? I did ๐Ÿ˜‰

Are you sure your that far along your not very big – this annoys the crap outta me spec when I was preg with 1st one as you start stressing something is wrong!!

Your bump is very small, are you sure you got the due date right?

After bub was born, a comment was “It must be great to have an excuse to do nothing”

Not a question that was asked but should have been…. I really hated people feeling my tummy like they had a right too without even asking, usually older women.

“are you having triplets??” I was like NOOOO its just one!!! Drove me bonkers!!!

How are you keeping? Keeping what?

I agree with all of these, especially the ‘are you excited’! And also got sick of everyone asking me If “I was over it” this from people who knew me and knew that I was throwing up every day so what do you think!!

its very annoying to be asked “haven’t you had your baby yet?” but I got rather P.O by people asking things like, “is your TV broken?” or “didn’t you learn your lesson the first time?” apparently your only allowed one child now?? I am only 24 but I have been married 3 years and we only plan on having two, does it have to sound like a bad thing? We happen to be stoked. Suck it up and try a congrats!

Have you had the baby yet?

No questions bothered me. I was so happy to be pregnant I didn’t care how many times I got asked if I knew the sex, or how many times people commented on how big I was (cos I was!!) … to me it was just lovely that people were showing an interest.

“You’re STILL here!”(Where the heck am I going?)
“Oh you must be feeling the heat “(Well it is summer)
” Oh, three under five, you’ll be busy!” (Yes, and your point?)
“Wow, you’re carrying really small”… and later on, same day, different person, ” wow, you’re pretty big, are you having a big baby?” (How the heck should I know?)
With a baby due Christmas day and hubby being a priest” Did you plan that”? (Yeah, I did the calculations and thought that it would be really convenient to have a baby on one of the busiest days of the church year)

I suffered from hyperemesis (never-ending morning sickness) and I kept getting asked, ‘Have you tried Ginger?’
Response: Yes, and it made it worse.
Have you tried dry crackers?
Have you tried eating before going to bed?
Have you tried eating before you get out of bed in the morning?
Have you tried homeopathy?
Have you tried acupuncture?
Have you tried …etc etc?

I got the date thing (I didn’t start showing until about 28 weeks!), was asked 20 minutes after having number 2 when we were going to have number 3 (WTF?! I just pushed out a baby, another is the last thing on my mind!), and the same as any overdue woman, haven’t you had that baby yet? Worst part, it was my father in law asking every day, hello, you’re the grandfather, and you’ll be told when we have the baby!

Continually being asked “do you know what you are having???” hmmmm let me see … a baby?

“Are you sure you’re not having twins?”
“Are you sure you should be eating/drinking/doing that?”
“Do you know what you’re having?” (And when I respond “yes, it’s a human baby” it’s followed by)
“So you don’t know then..?” ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other thing that bothers me is people speculating I must want a boy because I already have a daughter. I just want a healthy baby – why is that so hard to accept?????

Gosh, so many!! From “are you pregnant!?” (No, just fat, despite the fact we just told you we’re HAVING A BABY IN DECEMBER), to constantly “are you taking care of the baby” (Nah, thought I’d detach her for a while, take a tea break…), to at the end “Bet you wish it was over (Not as much as I wish you’d stop asking mundane and ridiculous questions), “You must be feeling the heat” (Its 40 degrees, how could I not be!?) and “Wow, it feels like you’ve been pregnant forever” (Wow, I didn’t know you were such an expert in these things, thank you… 41 weeks feels wonderful, thank you for the contribution to my fabulous day).
People are full of stupid questions, comments and observations, especially with pregnant women and babies!!!

I remember people would say “so do you know what you’re having” me “Yes it’s a baby”,

and I hated how people commented on how small my bump was, and if everything was alright. That’s a stupid thing to say to a pregnant women. I shoved that in their face with both my 8lb + babies. People should never comment on size, big or little!!

“You’re pregnant! How old are you…..?” followed by “Oh you decided to keep it then?”

When’s the baby coming??? Like I know, we can’t communicate you know.

My last pregnancy was twins & I REALY got sick of people saying are you sure your having twins your not very big drove me nuts! Who bloody cares how big I am or not as my babies r ok which they were thankfully! And also I get gosh 4 boys poor u wouldn’t u have preferred another girl um no I love my boys 2 bitz & y poor me I don’t think so!!

“Can I touch your tummy?” (Hand already on tummy) Me “well apparently you already are” I swear you become pregnant and suddenly you become public property and aren’t allowed personal space. Same again when baby is born and strangers walk up and stick there hands in the pram.

being asked and still asked (34weeks “how are you” – simple question and people are just being polite but I’m pregnant not dying!!!!!

I loved being pregnant but after a hundred times of being these questions it kinda got annoying

You’re huge aren’t you uncomfortable??
Aw you must be soo hot!
Wow are you still pregnant?? Na Imp just really fat and left my baby at home by himself
so, what are you having?

We were at a party I was very pregnant and we all know how fantastic you feel when your very pregnant, none of your clothes fit & all you want to do is sleep, and across the whole party I (along with everyone else in the world!) hear ” oh my god your STILL pregnant!” I was about 7 months. It was just the greatest feel good moment ever!!! ๐Ÿ™

‘Do you think it will be another redhead’ (like that is a disease or something!!!!)

Also when people asked what I was having I used to reply “I’m hoping it’s a puppy”

Once I was ‘overdue’ the most annoying question hands down was ‘when are you getting induced?’

I’ve had 2 boys so “when are you going to have number 3?” “Um we aren’t planning to at this stage” “well don’t you want a girl?” “Oh so you can guarantee that the next will be a girl? Or should I just keep trying & maybe 10 babies later I might have a girl – not likely!” and then the usual “oh your big” “well duh! I am pregnant so it was a given” and the good ol “so you haven’t had it yet?” “What do you think rocket scientist?!” lol

“Are you SURE you’re not having twins??”

Do you know what you’re having? Yes a boy (I have 2 other sons) ohhhh poor u, bet u really wanted a girl, ohhh (sad look) never mind, ohhh so no pink for u. Jeez bugger off people I’m happy so it doesn’t matter, if u cant say something nice…

The comment, you hardly look pregnant at all (what you think I’m this large naturally). And then the same day from someone different, ‘my god you’re huge’. Uh! Why the need to comment on a pregnant women’s size?

“Are you sure it’s not twins?” ๐Ÿ™

When we told people that we were preggers with #4 95% of them commented “oh I bet that wasn’t planned”…okay true it wasn’t but still bloody rude thing to say!! It was the tone people said it in too that used to get my back up. But to be completely honest it was probably the best thing that happened to me because all the comments people made caused me to get more protective of little peanut when I wasn’t that thrilled to start with. Wouldn’t swap my little darlings for the world now!! Sleep yes. World no.

We were 20 when we had our first my partner asked the dumbest question of all….”can you still get pregnant while you’re pregnant?” YES IM GOING TO STORE IT IN MY BACK AND COOK IT A LITTLE LONGER THAN THIS ONE LOL!

“So no baby yet?” I was getting that everyday from about 39 weeks; Mia came 9 days late too!

I was asked each time if I new what I was having & I said yes another girl & they would say how many do you have hmmmm 7 lol & then they would ALWAYS ask was I trying for a boy…NO I wasn’t actually, I wasn’t even trying to get preg!

Are you having twins? No? You’re HUGE!

Are you having twins?? Why haven’t you dropped yet baby still quite high. And oh your still preggas hurry up baby we want to meet you – obviously baby aint in no hurry to meet you was my comment under my breath

Are you having another one? (This was asked a week after my 4th was born!)

Yeah I hated the ‘are you excited question’….no I am freaking terrified if you must ask!!!!

I’ll add one for after birth, I was often out walking as my son wasn’t a good sleeper during the day and I remember after a really bad night and morning out walking, looking like death warmed up and buying a coffee so I could stay awake to get home, “So you’d nearly be thinking of having another” Me: Umm perhaps not when I’m feeling so horribly about this one!

I hated the “Oh, another girl,” comment with the head tilt and sympathetic look. Because having two beautiful, perfect and healthy girls is such a bad thing. I couldn’t care less whether I had boys or girls!

“Are you having a good pregnancy” I had quite bad SPD while Peggy my thoughts were often were along the lines of, look at me I am on crutches work it out

Probably the whole “what are you having?” A baby, of course!!

Are you sure it’s not twins? Um yes I am very sure I only saw one baby on this little screen they have these days

Not about pregnancy – well if I list them this topic will be endless but once she was born – I think 3 weeks, a 20 year old airhead asked if she had opened her eyes yet. And we told her, not yet, maybe when her fur grows.

Mine was, “Is your husband excited?” Our joke was telling people that he didn’t know yet.

And after we had our daughter, having had a boy first, when asked questions about the gender of our kids they would say ” Oh well done, you’ve got one of each” Like it was something we did!

What are you having? Um her legs were crossed in the scan so couldn’t see anything and my midwife said that I didn’t need another scan because she was healthy, after telling them all this, so are you going to get another scan to find out? I just smiled and said not allowed and under my breath “I just told you, you dumb b.tch” lol. I learnt to not take too much in as I was working in retail at the time so I’d get asked lots of dumb questions everyday.

Not so much a question but with my first pregnancy I kept getting told that I looked like I was retaining water and how tired I looked….I felt great, apparently just looked like a giant puff ball!

Not so much of a question but a comment. “Oh, so your son will be born in July…I made sure my baby will be born in September so he wont be disadvantaged at school…” made me feel stink…

No questions annoyed me, I loved being pregnant and had a great pregnancy, even when I was 11 days over due all the ‘have you had the baby yet’ questions didn’t bother me ๐Ÿ™‚

Is it here yet…til 42+1!

I HATE being asked when I’m ‘trying for a girl’

Are you still there! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR two weeks over due and everyone kept on asking if you had had the bub well you would think you would them know huh!!!

I love being pregnant too… but I did find it funny when people are constantly asking “what are you having” and I’d get a fake worried look… “Well I hope it’s a baby” And at 41+3 I overheard an old lady saying “”oh dear, and she hasn’t even dropped yet!!!” Actually I’d been waddling like a duck for the last MONTH with baby well engaged, but when you’re only 5ft2… 9lb 8oz of baby takes up a LOT of room!

All the time I got wow you will have your hands full with 3 under 5.
You hoping for a girl this time?
Was it planned? if its another boy will you try again?
Wow your huge, are you uncomfortable? and at the end I got a lot of your looking very tired, can you not sleep

8.5mths pregnant and being asked, oh, you are still pregnant are you? No, no. I had my baby, I just like to look this gigantic. ARE YOU STUPID?!

Oh yes, I have 3 sons so obviously I must be deprived and NEED a daughter, so obviously I’ll just keep having babies until one has a vagina!! ARE YOU MENTAL?

Its all part of it isn’t it!! I wasn’t too annoyed with any of it!! Pregnancy is such a gift!

I was a ‘mature’ (and incredibly surprised) first time mum. People used to continuously tell me how ‘lucky’ I was to even GET pregnant at my age, let alone stay pregnant???!!! Then they would ask me if I thought everything would be ok with the baby because of my age. “No, I think it will be born with two heads, three arms and a tail!” I consider myself a fairly intelligent individual who had a ‘memory lapse’ (don’t younger people have those occasionally too???) and now have a beautiful, healthy daughter. Did I think everything was going to be alright with the baby??? Do I LOOK like I have crystal balls? Do people think you obtain a third power when you conceive? Some people are idiots.

When pregnant with #3 when I had 2 girls- “trying for a boy?” Um no a baby, thanks.

People that get ANGRY when you won’t tell them the sex / and / or name of your baby!

Throughout all my pregnancies I kept being asked if I could manage little things (like carrying a tray of food). I would respond “I’m pregnant, not disabled. I’m fine”

With #2 (boy) – “oh, so now you’ve got one of each. Gonna stop?” Us: “No, we want 5”.

With #3 (boy) – “3’s a nice number. Are you done?” Us: “No, we want 5.”…

With #4 (boy) – “I bet [#1] is disappointed its a boy” Us: “Yes a little, but she’s happy to have another brother to play with” (and she was, she adores him!)
– “4 is quite a large family, when are you doing something more permanent?” Us: “After the next one, we want 5.”

With #5 (girl) – “I bet [#1] and your husband are excited you’re having a girl” Me: “Yes, WE ALL are thrilled” (why did people assume it meant more to some family members than others????)
– “So, when are you trying for #6?” Us: “No, we’re done at 5.”

Family never listen!

I’m pregnant with number 3 and have found a great answer for the “do you know what you are having” – we simply say “we are not saying if we found out or not” – shuts people right up cos they don’t know how to respond. We have 2 boys and I just did not want to deal with the questions and comments and besides, it’s no-ones business anyway!!! If we say we haven’t found out we would get the “I bet you’re hoping for a girl ” and if we say we have “well what is it? etc ” Although my 2 year old keeps joking its a dolphin – will have to redecorate to include an aquarium!
“When are you due – gosh you must be due soon” – now being 10 days overdue it’s getting really rather tiresome

Yeah, being overdue and people txting or ringing up saying, are u in labor yet? and right through my pregnancy every time I went to the supermarket the same lady would ask me “how long have you got to go now??” and I’m thinking ahhhh I’m sure I told u this a few days ago!!!

I hated people telling me how big I was and asking how far along I was! I worked on Queen St in Auckland, our foot traffic was approx 3000 a day, SO MANY QUESTIONS!! My baby had IUGR and wasn’t growing properly, so I’d get offended if people said I was huge (because I wasn’t) and stressed if they said I was small (because the baby was so little). I know their hearts were in the right place but I was worried enough as it was!

“What are you having?” to which I often answered “A baby”

To the “what are you hoping for, a boy or girl”, I would reply. “I’m hoping it’s kittens ‘cos my husband won’t let me get one!”

I got the “your not very big?” to ๐Ÿ™ My first was 9lb 11 and I was HUGE!

When pregnant I got asked a couple of times…. “was it planned?’ by clients at work. Yes it was, but I reckon this is a real personal and rude question….

I got the “was it planned?” by my BOSS!!! Also the disappointed looks when I said I was having a boy which is just ridiculous! Oh and told I was huge time and time again from about 24 weeks onwards….Fun stuff!

Do you have names picked out yet? If so, what are they? and then when I didn’t tell them they’d get stroppy – its none of their business and what difference does it make to them?! Also, “do you know what you’re having?” and because I didn’t and didn’t want to they used to ask what I hoped for, and like everyone else here I used to say “a healthy baby!”. Some people are just too nosey for their own good – funnily enough it was usually people I didn’t even really know!

I have a son already and am halfway though my 2nd pregnancy, I have had people ask me if I’ll be disappointed if it’s another boy! (Which I’m sure it is!!) Most people know we have been through IVF to have our children and I would have thought they would realize that we are just so lucky to actually have been able to have kids without being disappointed by what gender the baby is.

Do you think you’ll have any more? I was asked that quite a few times while pregnant. I was just thinking of the one I was about to have.

Them: Are you having a boy or a girl?
Me: Yeah one of those, I don’t know yet.
Them: OH aren’t you going to find out?
Me: Yes when the baby is born.

It really grated me that so many people thought we MUST want a girl seeing as we have a boy, umm no, a healthy baby will be fine thanks!! And no we aren’t going to have another one just get a girl!!

“Why don’t you want to know the sex? Don’t you want to be prepared?” As if knowing the sex is ever going to prepare you!! And just because YOU want to know, doesn’t mean I do!

Oh and “Oh are you still pregnant?” No, I gave birth to the baby already, I just like the look. OF COURSE I”M STILL PREGNANT you moron, I’m HUGE!

“Is the baby here, is the baby here?” “today’s the day…” GGGGGrrrrrr I ended up throwing my cell phone away for a while!! He was engaged and ready to go at 37 weeks – came at 41+1!!!

No1 came at 38weeks, no2 at 40+6weeks – was so sick of everyone asking “are you still preggers?”. Even when they were standing straight in front of me….